4th Dec.2008 - Deeper thoughts!

When I first spoke to my oncology nurse some weeks ago, she said 'you know alot of people go on a real journey through their cancer treatment and most say that they grow tremendously'. That's not a real surprise to me as I think I am, and have been, quite a spiritually aware person from a young age. When I was around ten or eleven I had a couple of Jesus pictures on my bedroom wall, you know, the handsome, long dark haired version with bright blue eyes. I'm not really sure where that came from, maybe my auntie Min(my godmother).

Later on when things weren't good between Mum and Dad I used to do my homework in the home of our local vicar and I always felt safe and protected in their home. My spiritual leanings didn't really surface then until after I was married and we had Ruth and Joseph to care for. Times were hard (here's the violin bit), no really, they were. At one time I can remember Graham going out down the country roads and carefully sawing off the tops of the wood fences so we had something to burn on the fire.

Anyway, to cut a very long story short, quite by chance we met a chap who was a Baha'i. It wasn't a religion we'd heard of either, but Graham was fascinated by it's concepts and belief's about the world, which seemed very much in line with his. I was more cautious, but read after some research and questioning I couldn't deny that it made sense. It wasn't a cult, it wasn't asking me to leave my current belief's behind or carry out strange rituals. Mostly it wanted families to be together and the world to be together as one. That's a REALLY simplistic explanation, but I don't want you blog followers to glaze over.

We found a whole new meaning in our everyday lives and I guess on reflection it scared some of our friends. Anyway, it was our new found resolve that gave us a feeling of adventure and the courage to 'up sticks' and 'pioneer' as Baha'is to Swaziland in Southern Africa.

The period in Africa and our subsequent return are a story in themselves, but my point is that I think it's all now helping me to rationalise my situation and to find as many positives from the experience as possible. We're not actually active Baha'i at the moment but it's still a strong basis for our lives and has left us with a rich tapestry of friends and memories.

Well it's been a cold snowy day today. I've been wobbly, felt sick and had stomach ache, but on the plus side I've discovered HP sauce makes my meals taste a whole lot better. Thanks Graham for pandering to my sudden strange cravings and cooking whatever takes my fancy!