Wed. 21st Jan 2009

Slept better last night, but very frustrated this morning at my very weak, numb feeling body. My brain is not connecting with my limbs at all and although the urge to get on and do things is strong, nothing responds. This strange feeling even extends to vision at times, as though I'm looking at everything through a telescope. Also, I'm still 'in France' (family reference) and the recommended tablets don't seem to be working, so just something else to make me feel uncomfortable.

I do remind myself constantly that this is all for my long term gain and survival, but it is hard sometimes and you wonder about the whole process and whether it's all worth it. Having said that, the chap who delivered my car on Monday told us his wife found a lump and wouldn't go to the Doctors despite family pleas. She died last January leaving him alone and I personally feel that was really selfish on her part to deprive them of the opportunity to love and care for her through an illness that could well have been beaten.