Thurs. 22nd Jan 2009 'Me boys'

Slept reasonably and woke up feeling positive ready to face the day and a visit from my boys, Joe and Louis, then I put my feet on the ground! Oh for goodness sake! still got marshmallow legs, in fact my whole body feels as though it's been made from knotted cotton, no strength at all. Determined not to give in I had a shower, got ready and accompanied Graham and Daisy on their morning walk.

Poor Graham is desperate to help in some way, but there's little either of us can do but wait for things to improve. The treatment side effects are such a roller coaster, although I have to say that this time they feel like trudging through an enormous muddy field wearing wellies! I suppose I still don't really have anything to compare with, also, If I'm honest I suspect that my body's defenses were still a little low when I had my last chemotherapy.

There are times when I question what's happening to me, especially when I was so well before I started all this and I feel angry with the health professionals responsible, the same as you would if you got food poisoning from a 'dodgy' restaurant. The thing is, do they actually really know whether all this is necessary and the long term effects - just questions that pop up.

Anyway, Joe and Louis arrived late morning, also Barry and Sue, who dropped in for a quick coffee and chat, so that was fun. Graham later cooked the most fantastic dinner - pork steaks, new potatoes and fresh broccoli, which we all enjoyed.

Everyone's gone now, Graham's singing at Crayke tonight and I am going to confess that I've just had a glass of really cold lager which was the best thing I've had to drink for over a week. I've also got some 'Star burst' sweets and some 'Love hearts' - ah well, a little of what you fancy!