Sat. 14th Feb. 2009

Not feeling too bad today, took my time getting up and ready so that I could manage a short trip to town. I'm just waiting for the sledge hammer to fall now, not very positive I know, but that's what happened last time. My enjoyment of food and drink has been replaced with a disgusting taste.

I've taken time to look at the implications of being HER2 positive and I don't like what I'm finding and I'm a little confused. First of all it would appear that this means the cancer is more aggressive as the protein on the cells encourages the cancer cells to multiply at a much faster rate and I should be starting treatment as soon as possible. Unfortunately I can't start the Herceptin until I finish my chemotherapy as the Epirubicin already poses a risk of heart problems and the Herceptin has an even higher risk, which requires cardiac tests and regular monitoring. Added to that it has some very disturbing side effects, sickness, flu like feelings etc, etc.

The Herceptin would be given over a 12month period, I think approx. every three weeks by injection. The first is given in hospital due to the possibility of anaphylatic shock and possible heart problems. The other injections I believe can be given in the home by a trained nurse.

My dilemma is do I really want this and if I don't have it how would it impact on my overall survival rate? I need to seek some professional answers and speak to a friend who I know is on Herceptin at the moment to find out how she is coping. A lot of the chat forums do seem to report side effects and gradual heart failure, which although it can be reversed, must be detrimental and there is no research at the moment into the long term effects. So a lot to think about.

On a brighter side, I received flowers from a Line Manager at BOC and the 'Tete a Tete' daffodil bulbs my sister sent have grown two inches and one is already in flower. I love the thought that Spring is around the corner.