Wed. 27th Jan. 2009

It's been more than a week since my last entry and that's largely because I've been too tired to be bothered by evening. I've been trying to increase my work activities, in the hope that confidence will come back too. I do feel I have made some advances, but it still seems like 'two forward and one back'.

Last weekend I had a bit of a set back. I felt that my bowel symptoms had been a little better and resigned myself to the fact that 'anxiety' was probably a major culprit. However, Friday evening, about an hour after Graham left for work, I was reading quietly when I was suddenly aware of the all too familiar stomach ache, which very quickly built into griping pain and a need to visit the loo. It continued in waves for two or three hours and I even took my mobile into the loo with me just in case I needed help.

It did eventually pass, along with my energy and I crawled gratefully into bed. I lay there trying to find something to blame the episode on, but failed to identify a culprit.

This week I have again pushed myself and made my first long car journey to Chester-le-Street, at the request of a Manager. It took me two and a half hours to get there only to find that the Manager had forgotten I was going, so there was no one for me to see. Ok, I could cope with that and I took the opportunity to update him on the 'absence procedure' and Health Surveillance requirements.

Unfortunately, coupled with my increased travel and work, I have also experienced some momentary 'vertigo' symptoms, which I find very worrying. The first was on Tuesday evening sitting in bed - everything suddenly went sideways. This happened again when I was in CLS, plus I'm aware that my head doesn't feel right and seems unconnected to my eyes. Every time this happens I worry, is it a completely separate issue, or is it connected. I have mentioned it before, but it's been waved away. I'm afraid to consult my GP for fear of being labelled 'over anxious', so I'll just keep the prochlorperazine with me and hope it goes away.

Lastly, the long journey has really upset my reconstruction. My shoulder has been aching and my underarm and back feel bulky and uncomfortable. I can only attribute this to driving and hope it settles soon.