Results Day! 13th Nov. 2008

For me this was the scariest day since diagnosis, probably because of my ability to read between the lines of medical speak. Unfortunately I failed to prepare Graham for this, although I did say several times 'We'll know what we're looking at when I go back for the results'. I think Graham was convinced that the necessary had been done and we would just go on with radiotherapy.

I'm not saying that I was being negative, far from, I really hoped for the same, but those doubts were there and when MJ sat down and gave that knowing sigh, I knew once again that this wasn't what we wanted to hear. Good news first - the lymph nodes were clear. The bad news - my cancer was bigger than anticipated and he couldn't get clear margins. I have a Ductal Carcinoma in situ (DCIS), it's a Grade 3 (the more aggressive type) and there is some lymphovascular involvement. Because the DCIS is at the margins, MJ wants to start chemotherapy, just in case any of the little devils have escaped. This will be followed by Mastectomy. Bloody hell, that's a lot to take in and my first thought is 'how do I tell my lovely children, sister, brother, friends etc. Graham stays calm, but I know he's in pieces inside as he wasn't expecting this at all.

I can't remember exactly what I was feeling and I just nodded and accepted any reassurance or explanations. My cancer support nurse arranged for us to see my Oncologist straight away and he explained further the implications of chemotherapy and in particular my specific treatment EC 90. (mentally noted for further research at home). Prof. D said it wouldn't be pleasant, but he felt that the benefits of three months chemotherapy would maintain my chances of survival, holy crap. So my first date is set for Thursday 27th Nov., another wait and time to resign ourselves to a 'bumpier ride' than expected.