Mon. 28th Sept. 2009

Not feeling brilliant at the moment, nothing I can put my finger on, I just don't feel 100%. I am finding the constant 'toothache' type pain in my left arm and shoulder/neck very wearing, especially at night. I sleep intermittently because I can't get comfortable and when I do drop off, my shoulder becomes paralysed and my little finger goes dead.

I'm disappointed with the discomfort as I thought everything was settling down really well. I seem to be experiencing muscle and nerve pain which makes me jump at times and I'm hoping it won't last for too long. Anyway, I'll be seeing my Oncologist on the 8th, so I'll mention the aches and pains to him.

Other than that, life seems pretty good. Work is ok, a bit busy, but I'm coping at the moment. I've just booked tickets to see Billy Elliott, something I've wanted to do for ages, so no time like the present.

Thurs. 24th Sept. 2009 'Herceptin No7'

All went as planned this time and as an added bonus it was the nurse who did my first treatment. She is just a 'breath of fresh air' and her relaxed, professional manner puts me at ease. Cannulated at the first attempt, plus she asks a lot more questions and is genuinely interested in helping with any problems or side effects.

I've mentioned some 'new' intermittent pain to my lower left rib and on my sternum, a burning type pain, sometimes nagging, sometimes sudden. She thinks I should mention it to my Oncologist, but I'm sure it's just muscle and nerve pain.

I'm tired today after two days of work travel and I know the Herceptin will flatten me for a couple of days, but otherwise all is well. I've managed to alter a couple of skirts and a dress which I'm loathed to give to charity, but I think I'll have to treat myself to some new items. I'm also parting with some of my shoes as I'm finding that certain styles give me pain across the base of my toes. I suspect it's due to arthritic changes as my fingers and the base of my thumb are the same and exacerbated by cancer treatment.

Thur. 17th Sept. 2009

I've had three appointments through this week. Two for October 8th, a mammogram and my review with the Oncologist and one for an echo, which arrived today and is on Monday, so I've had to change things round in my schedule.

I've worked hard so far this week and feel as though I'm getting on top of things, but I am tired today and my shoulder is aching, so I'm looking forward to the weekend and spending some time with Graham, friends and family in York. I need to buy some new clothes as I seem to have shrunk further - that'll be such a hard task, hmmmm.

Tues. 15th Sept. 2009 Sadness and Admiration

'Mr Robin' by Graham.

First words I heard this morning on the clock radio were that Patrick Swayze had died. I felt really sad, but he made the most of his life and stayed so strong right till the end. Thank you Patrick for your inspirational dancing skills and two of my all time favorite films 'Ghost' and of course 'Dirty Dancing'.

Today was only my second day back at work after the holidays. Yesterday was awful and I came home from Scunthorpe feeling completely wiped out and unable to hold even polite conversation with Graham. I just couldn't seem to get my head around the hundreds of e-mails, plus we had a very long tele-conference which I struggled to follow. However, today has been better and I've managed to make some headway in prioritising the work.

One thing that has become obvious since my Herceptin last week, is that the treatment definitely increases my feelings of anxiety and triggers the Irritable bowel problems. I should have received an appt. for a follow up echo cardiogram last month, but it seems to have been forgotten, so I've spoken to Prof. D's secretary and I'm waiting to see what happens. I have however received an appt. for a mammogram on the 8th October, ironically a year to the day since I was diagnosed, lets hope it's a better outcome this time.

Tues 8th Sep. 2009 Herceptin No6

More Holiday pics

No call last night and by 10.30a.m. this morning I was convinced nobody was coming, so I called the Clinical Manager and left a message on her answer machine. Twenty minutes later I got a call re-assuring me that someone would be coming to do my treatment around 3.30p.m.

It was Andrew who came and he admitted that I hadn't been on the list, so my suspicions were confirmed. The thing is, I wasn't going to ring this morning as I sort of knew they'd screwed up and I was cross. My attitude was that if they didn't turn up and I needed to start again with the 'loading dose', I would tell them 'no thanks'. Fortunately Graham persuaded me to check, but I'm still cross as it just adds 'insult to injury' as far as I'm concerned.

Andrew is very nice, but he does seem to struggle to site the cannula. first attempt looked good but then it started to balloon, so no good. Second attempt was patent, but very painful at first. Ah well, that's another one over.

Mon. 7th Sep. 2009 'Home again, home again ....'

'The Three Amigos'
Back from a wonderful week in Cornwall. The weather wasn't too bad and it certainly didn't stop us having fun. We walked through miles of beautiful gardens, Eden, Heligan, Trebah and Trevano, all of which I can recommend. Our rented house was superb with views across Falmouth bay and we spent some happy evenings watching 'Star Trek', or playing 'Pictionary', which became even funnier when accompanied by several shots of 'Todka' (a locally made tipple, like toffee syrup with Vodka).

There were so many good times, too many to mention them all, but our night at the 'Minack Theatre' will certainly stand out as one of the funniest, wettest, most British experiences. Also the firework display on Swanpool beach - wonderful.

So, back to reality and my treatment tomorrow, well hopefully. I did ring before the holiday and change the day, but nobody has called as yet, so we'll see. I can only delay the Herceptin by 5 days, so if they don't come tomorrow it means starting the 'loading dose' again at the hospital and I won't be very happy about that.