Thurs. 25th Mar. 2010 'Hopes & Fears'

I have been thinking lately that in a couple of months I will have come full circle from the beginning of treatment. This time last year I had my last chemotherapy and with only a very short break, prepared myself for mastectomy & reconstruction. I started the Herceptin just before we travelled to Skye for a well earned break and I am excited to think that this time I will be having my very last Herceptin before heading up to my favorite Island, where I will be completely free of cancer treatment.

Of course this means that I will also finish my blog, which will be quite sad in a way. However, I'm looking forward to putting it on paper and finally reading it from start to finish. I know that it will be extremely interesting to look back at the ups and downs, many of which seem so far behind me now.

Despite this I still do have worries now and then, but having spoken to other breast cancer victims I know this is normal. It's hard to know what is a normal pain and what should prompt a call to the breast care nurses, or my GP. For instance, I haven't felt very well for the last few weeks. Nothing I can actually put my finger on, slight nausea, recurrent sore throat, dry eyes and just generally feeling naff. It could just be the after effects of a rather chesty cold a few weeks ago, but it does make me worry.

I also worry about any lumpy changes around the reconstruction as I don't really know if these are fatty/muscle changes or something I should report. I'm inclined to feel they are nothing, but I do get paranoid sometimes. Anyway, I will see how I feel in a day or so and if things don't improve I will have to pester my very nice GP for advice.

One good thing is that the Merbentyl are proving beneficial and even though I still get bowel problems, the griping pains are now just stomach ache. I managed a work trip to Derby the other day without too many problems, despite the usual anxiety.