Frid.19th Mar.2010 'My Mega Mum's Day Trip'

I'm dedicating this entry to recording the most wonderful surprise 'Mother's Day' trip last weekend. Organised by my daughter Roo and husband Gordon because in her words the last 18mths have been 'pooh', to put it politely.

First class tickets to meet Roo at London Kings Cross kicked off the magical weekend. A few stops on the tube and into Covent Garden, which I really liked, not unlike York, with smaller streets and really interesting shops. Roo showed off her amazing map reading talents (with a little help from google maps on the iPhone). We walked through 'Neils Yard' and into The Covent Garden Hotel.

Now I've stayed in some nice Hotels, but this was something else. I can't begin to describe how fantastic it was, but if you look on line, you will see what I mean. I don't think the bed would have fitted in our bedroom and the bathroom had a flat screen in the wall at the foot end of the bath and a telephone.

The evening was a short tube trip to Piccadilly and into The Wolesley. Oh my goodness, what a superb meal. I had Pollock for my main meal and a whisky marmalade sponge pudding for afters - it was just wonderful. Just before we left, Roo spotted Timothy Spall with some friends or family, so a super night all round. We walked back past the Ritz and spent the evening relaxing in our room.

The following morning after a stunning breakfast I was handed over to the beauty therapist for a 'facial' before we headed off into Covent Garden for a look around the market. To cut a long story short, we ended up walking along the river bank next the the London Eye, where with 'fast track' tickets and had a wonderful, if a little scary, experience. The weather was superb and we could see for miles. More walking and map reading found us outside 'The Lion King' theatre and I crumbled when we turned to go in. What a fantastic show, words cannot describe how magical it was.

We ate in the Hotel that night and again it was a top notch meal. Roo gave me my Mother's Day card, which in itself was beautiful, but she followed that with a silver necklace from Tiffany's, a small key with their signature jewel in the top corner.

Well what can I say, I could go on forever about the whole experience and I will never forget it. We did so much in such a short time that it felt like a dream. Oh yes, I nearly forgot, we also had lunch at 'Fifteen' Jamie's original restaurant where he gives budding young cooks a chance to make something of themselves (see what I mean).

Am I lucky or what?

Thurs. 11th Mar. 2010 'Herceptin No15'

Yes Mr know-it-all Oncologist, I am going to the finish line, so stick that in your budget!

It's been just over a week since I started the meds for my bowels and I swear I'm already feeling the benefit. Despite the fact that I've had a really 'snotty' cold, I have felt very focused and even had some glimmers of enthusiasm in relation to planning work. I am under no illusion that the pills are the only factor and like other conditions such as, anxiety/depression and ME, it requires work from me to overcome the confidence problem and focus on the positive (damn, there's that word again).

The Herceptin went very smoothly today and now there's only three, yes three, to go!!

Frid.5th March 2010 'Spring at last'

At long last, some sunshine and a hint of Spring. I picked up my IBS medication yesterday and I'm hoping that will signal a new start too. The prospect of daily medication doesn't thrill me, but if it works it will make such a difference. Also, I feel sure that with time everything will settle down and eventually I won't need them.

I had a reply from the CT radiography unit today too. They offered an apology and said they were grateful for my suggestions. The only thing I found annoying was the statement that 'normally post chemotherapy patients attend the cancer unit for cannulation, but as I wasn't referred by the NHS this didn't happen'. So basically I was given a second class service because I'd been privately referred. They have assured me that this won't happen in future.

On a bright note, it's a year this month since I finished chemotherapy and I'm being treated to a special weekend in London for Mother's Day, courtesy of my Daughter Roo. I'm really excited and I will report back on the experience.

Fri. 26th Feb. 2010 'Back on line'

Haven't been able to blog since last Saturday evening when a 'nice young man' parked his Nova in a neighbour's hedge back and demolished the telegraph pole. Not only did it knock out the land line and Internet, it also affected my iPhone, such a pain.

Anyway, to update, I went to the Nuffield for the results of my CT scan on Tuesday and everything looks normal. It would appear that my suspicions have been right all along and my bowel problems are due to spasm or IBS, exacerbated by anxiety. One source of anxiety is travelling to a site with poor toilet facilities. So, I've been prescribed Loperamide to take the night before I have to travel and I'll take Merbentyl 3 times daily. It's hoped that with the medication, things will gradually settle back to normal.

Interestingly the Consultant did not think I should stop having the Herceptin and still maintains the view that it is not responsible for my bowel problem.

Thurs. 18th Feb. 2009 'Herceptin No.14'

Busy day today - had a routine Oncology appt. at York District this morning. After the last one I wasn't expecting much, and I wasn't disappointed. It was the same Oncologist as I saw in October, but he did have a nurse observing, which in my experience always makes them raise their game a little. He was quite obviously aware that I'd chosen to see my own Oncologist privately and dismissed my recent tests with a smugness.

Once again he suggested that I could stop the Herceptin treatment and I think I caught him off guard when I asked how this would affect my prognosis, as my understanding is that the full 18 infusions should be completed. He said there is research available to suggest that only 9 treatments could be beneficial? Could be, might be.... well, the problem is Herceptin is still in it's infancy and not much is really known regarding it's effectiveness, or it's side effects yet.

He asked me if I had any other problems - ha, that's a laugh. I said "yes, numerous, but nothing I feel I can discuss here as these appointments are obviously time limited". So basically a waste of a morning, his only concession being that he'll see me again in four months.

On the way home I decided I might just finish the Herceptin, but I think that was because I was cross and just wanted to finish treatment and get on with life. However, I discussed it with the nurse who came to do my Herceptin, and she confirmed what I was already thinking and advised me to finish the course.

It took four attempts to find a decent vein today, but it still wasn't as traumatic as my CT experience. Speaking of which, I mailed a letter to the Patient Liaison Services yesterday and received an acknowledgement within two hours, so it does work.

Fri. 12th Feb. 2010 'CT Scan of horror'

I've been so moved by all the prayers and good wishes as a result of my recent blog entries - they were all passed on and I thank everyone on behalf of Lisa, James & of course baby Isaac who was laid to rest this morning.

CT Scan - YDH. Drank 1000mls of "Klean Prep' which tastes like a mixture of ice-cream that's gone off, mixed with paint thinner (not that I've tried paint thinner). Once on the scanner table I was subjected to several very distressing attempts to site a cannula. The last attempt, which was carried out by the 'unit Doctor', was frankly the most incompetent, ham fisted, painful attempt I have had to go through since this whole damn thing started. I think I nearly broke the nurses fingers and felt like planting my knee in this so called Doctors private bits.

Why are they so poor at this, they must have to do it quite often and I'm definitely not the first person with post chemotherapy invisible vein syndrome! Anyway, the upshot was that they gave up, so I had a 'lesser' scan than I should have, which won't be quite as effective at picking up any problems. Well tough, 'cos I ain't going back for another!

Frid 5th Feb. 2010 'Rest in Peace baby Isaac'

This entry is purely in memory of baby Isaac Hodge, who's life has been too brief. Brave James and Lisa agreed on the basis of medical advice to removing his life support this afternoon and spending a few short but special hours with him at home before he slipped peacefully away. It is impossible for us to even imagine what they have been through and how heartbreaking it must have been to say goodbye.

God Bless baby Isaac, it was so good to meet you. X